Save-the-Dates vs. Invitations

There is a little confusion, it seems, on when to send a wedding invitation. Per etiquette, a wedding invitation is sent around eight weeks prior to the wedding, with the RSVP due back two to three weeks before the big day. In our busy world, this may be mind-boggling, but it truly is correct. Enter, the save-the-date card. This is NOT a formal invitation, so please be mindful to send anyone a follow up formal invitation if you send them a save-the-date. These, however, may be sent as soon as the date is set. It is a good middle ground on etiquette vs. necessity. It is, however, a fairly new tradition and once considered quite gaudy and presumptuous. Now, though, it is honestly considered thoughtful – just goes to show how much things can change in a short period of time!

The save-the-date may be informal and include a wedding website. Like it’s counterpart, it still should NOT directly refer to a registry. It can be postcard format, a magnet, a cute card, etc. There are countless options to announce your wedding date, so feel free to show your creativity!


For an invitation, certain aspects should be included: the people who are getting hitched, the ones actually inviting (traditionally, the bride’s family), the date, the time, the location. For a VERY informal wedding, the RSVP may be included at the bottom. For your typical wedding, though, you should include an RSVP card with the RSVP by date on the RSVP card. Also, if you are requesting that guests mail their RSVP in to you, please pre-stamp the envelope. Yes, it’s a small additional cost, but it’s just tacky to not. Again, have a wedding you can afford.

Monogramming Madness: Your married monogram should NOT be displayed or used until after the wedding (it may actually be used at the VERY end of the wedding, once you are pronounced husband and wife). The best time to display is at the reception. Please keep this in mind for save-the-dates and invitations!

Any questions? Just ask! I’ll be happy to answer!


Destination Weddings

In recent years, destination weddings have gained in popularity. However, as they are a relatively new trend, the etiquette has been a little foggy. Allow me to clear things up a bit for you. 🙂

For starters, it is unreasonable to expect the same people who would attend a local wedding to be able to attend your destination wedding. Essentially, you are choosing location over attendees, which is completely acceptable. Just know this going into it. However, if you want to make it known the same people are welcome to attend your destination wedding, the same protocol applies: they are sent an invitation 4-6 weeks ahead. This is where save-the-dates are vital. They may, in this case, be sent significantly ahead of time, up to one year in advance, to allow guests who choose to attend to secure their travel and lodging arrangements.

A common etiquette faux pas: having a second “wedding” when you come back home. Simply put: you do not have two weddings at the same time to the same person, no matter what TLC allows. It screams asking for gifts. Again, by participating in a destination wedding, you are choosing location over attendees. Again, completely fine. But having another ceremony when you return is redundant. You may, at your choice, have a smaller “reception” is ok. However, unless the ceremony was very limited due to religious reasons, the same guests are invited for the destination as the reception, though they all weren’t able to attend the wedding. In this instance, two invitations are issued, as the events take place on two different dates. Same guest list, though.

Please remember: the old (and still current) rule about inviting guests to showers: you should not invite a guest to a shower who is not invited to the wedding.

Also, please keep in mind that you shouldn’t have an “A” list and a “B” list. Some lower-end wedding sites promote this to help you “not lose money.” However, guests talk. They will know if others received their invitation 4 weeks ago, when theirs came two days before the wedding. It’s just in bad taste.

Per etiquette, you would arrange and pay for the travel and lodging accommodations of anyone you request to be there – for example, the wedding party, the person performing the ceremony, etc. Guests would provide for their own accommodations, as they would with any wedding.

If you have questions, I would LOVE to hear them. 🙂 Thank you for reading!

Lenox Sale!!

When Garrett and I got married, we looked at china pattern after china pattern. We narrowed it down to two options – both made by Lenox. Nearly 5 years later, we have both patterns, thanks to eBay and sale shopping! Today Lenox is offering a Winter Sale. The code is ‘WINTER.’ If you’re shopping for china (though they offer a lot more!), check it out!!


Pfaltzgraff Flash Sale – Ends Tonight!!


Looking to add to your dinnerware collection? Pfaltzgraff is what I personally have for my everyday dishes. I love them. Each collection has a wide array of choices, from spring and fall plates to trivets.

Today until 10 PM EST, you can save 25%!! This is a rare sale, so if you have been looking to buy, now is the time to do so!

Quick Guide to Your Monogram

Here’s a quick guide for determining the order for your monogram!

First and foremost: if all of the letters are the same size, it is your initials, not actually a monogram. So, for me, it would be EEG. First initial, middle initial, last initial.

I’m going to keep the font the same size for reading purposes, but I will let you know when the size should change. 🙂

For an individual monogram, Jane Elizabeth Smith’s would be J S E with the S larger.

If Jane is married to Rick, their married monogram would be J S R with the S larger. This is applicable to 99% of all items. If something is considered specifically the husband’s, the monogram would lead with his initial first, so R S J with the S larger.

Here’s an area people tend to jump the gun: before the reception. You should debut your married monogram at the reception, not the wedding. So, wedding invitations should not have your married monogram. Formal invitations actually should not have any monogram on them. By definition, regardless of how you choose to celebrate, a wedding is a formal occasion. Thus, no monogram. However, monogrammed napkins, decor, etc. at the reception is perfectly acceptable. Personally, I love a good monogram. 🙂

Questions? I’d love to hear them!