A trend I’ve noticed is that people are willing to appreciate etiquette when it doesn’t interfere with their receiving of gifts. So, when it comes to having a second child, their appreciation of etiquette wanes. Ahh, to have or to not have. That is the question. Allow me to answer.
Truly, a shower for any child other than your first is inappropriate. “But every child should be celebrated.” Yes, they should. A common falsehood is that showers are for the child. They’re not. They’re for the parents, most often the mother in particular.
However, I recognize that people, for some reason, have stopped giving gifts unless there is a specific occasion to which one would bring a gift. This is beyond me, but at least I’ve found (humor me here) the root cause of second baby showers.
Normally I play nice. I try to allow for more gray areas than most. Showers are to “shower” the parents with attention and affection. You have them for the first major life change: i.e. a marriage (first time only here, people), becoming a parent (again, first time only). Even then, you are not entitled to being the guest of honor of any occasion at all. Hopefully, you have some sweet friends who are excited for you, though.
Yes, I realize that people now have divorce registries, but we’re trying to fight the good fight against entitled tackiness.
We’ve previously gone over appropriate occasions instead of a shower (sip and see, etc.), so I won’t rehash those here. Instead, allow me to drive a single point home: It is COMPLETELY APPROPRIATE to get people gifts FOR ANY REASON AT ALL. Honestly. If they’re having a second child, by all means, grab a sweet book and some diapers for the baby. If someone is simply having a bad day at work, feel free to bring them a cookie. Snickernoodle, preferably. My point is, a specific gathering does NOT need to happen to “allow” you to get someone a gift.
Maybe if this thought can penetrate peoples’ brains, we can finally rid ourselves of the subsequent baby and wedding showers…
Photo Credit: http://www.notonthehighstreet.com/baby-child/baby-shower-ideas-and-gifts