Mass Thank You Notes

Today’s post is brought to you by a reader’s comment from this post. I thought it was such an important topic, and I couldn’t believe I hadn’t already touched on it!

A common trend to escape actually writing thank you notes is for the recipient of a gift to send a group email or send a thank you note to everyone from work/church/etc. This, though, defeats the purpose of the thank you note, which is to express genuine thanks specifically to a person or family. The most people you should include on a thank you note would be everyone who resides in a single home. So, sending one to Uncle John, Aunt Sue and cousins Mark and Maggie is acceptable. Sending one to all 15 members of the IT department is not.

One minor exception would be to send a group email expressing thanks before following up with a hand-written note.

Ideally, a thank you note is physical (not electronic); it is to one person or family; it is handwritten.

The note doesn’t need to be lengthy. Let the giver know how the gift will be used and that it is appreciated. I always suggest adding in that you appreciate that they attended/missed them and one other personal thing in the note.

Thank you for the topic suggestion!

Announcment: Invitations Coming Soon

Y’all. My son is turning four years old. I can barely believe it. As I was looking through Etsy to find an invitation I liked, I kept stumbling across absolutely beautiful bridal and baby shower invitations. However, I noticed a common theme. The registry was written on each and every one of them. I do know that it’s simple and easy. However, I also know that it can look cheap and as though that’s the only reason you’re having a shower.

So, instead of lamenting this problem forever, I decided to take matters into my own hands! Coming soon will be etiquette-approved invitations for all occasions! Bridal, baby, graduation, birthday…you name it! Also, in case you’re wondering, I will have a way to let people know that you are registered without it being the primary focus of the invitation. I’m so excited to bring this to you!

As always, thank you for reading!

 

It’s Wedding Season!

It’s wedding season! Check out my top picks from Amazon. My kitchen aid mixer is something I use nearly daily, so, even though it’s pricy, we’ve gotten our money’s worth with it.


This post contains affiliate links, and I will earn compensation for any purchase you make after clicking these links.

Shower Invitations

One common question I had following the Wedding Shower Basics post was over the registry. So, I’m here to clarify today! When sending a wedding shower invitation, there should be 0 reference to the registry on the actual invitation. The invitation is to inform the guests of when and where the shower will be held, as well as RSVP information. As most brides now register, an insert is customarily added to the invitation on a separate piece of paper with the bride’s registry list. One thing I really want to stress: no where is it written that anyone much EVER purchase something from a registry. While many people appreciate a registry for ease of purchase, many others prefer to pick out a sentimental gift for the couple. This is not only perfectly acceptable, but it should be received with the same gratitude as a gift from the registry.

For the givers: Don’t be afraid to purchase a gift not on the registry. Many stores now offer discounts for registered gifts not purchased. It was because of this money-saving trick that my husband and I registered for a TON of diapers when I was expecting. It wasn’t because we thought others would buy these diapers – it was so we could receive a 15% discount! 🙂

On a personal note, one of my all-time favorite wedding gifts I received is a crystal cross that was from extended family on my mom’s side. It’s absolutely beautiful and far from the practical gifts we registered for. Additionally, I would love to see the trend come back for fine china. We have two sets (one is our wedding set, and the other was from eBay), and we use them every Sunday. Even my three-year old knows to be careful and place her napkin on her lap. It’s fun to use and makes any day special.

I hope this post helps to clear up some confusion! Thank you for the question. 🙂 We will continue on the wedding series with addressing wedding invitations. What are some other areas you would like me to hit?

The Basics of Wedding Showers

Weddings are an event many spend the entire first part of their life planning in some sort or fashion. In today’s Pinterest age, this is done more easily than ever before. So, it’s a good idea to get prepared for the big day ahead of time. Even if saying “I do” isn’t on your immediate agenda, it is likely you’ll attend weddings for family or friends in the future.

This is an area of etiquette many people eventually become interested in. Even if they could not have cared less before, when they anticipate being front row and center in their own wedding, sudden urges of perfectionism creep out. I’m here to happily help you prepare, etiquette-wise, for what to anticipate.

weddingshower1

This post will primarily cover wedding showers. First things first: who hosts the shower? As I mentioned in the Baby Shower post, the hostess should be a friend, not a family member. While it may not be as standard today, it is still assumed that your family will help you out, even if only emotionally, when you get married, so having an immediate family member host a shower makes it appear like you are only asking for gifts. The exception is if your bridesmaids co-host your shower, and your sister is also your bridesmaid. The rule of thumb, though, is that it is friends only. As with any party where you are the guest of honor, you should have a token hostess gift as a thank you for the time and effort (not to mention money) your hostesses made for you. Hostesses: I’ve said it before, but it’s worth saying again…if you are the hostess, no one attending the party should pay anything, other than any co-hostess. Therefore, you are responsible for the bill if you host at a restaurant. Please no “we’ll provide appetizer, meals are on you” type invitations. They make people resent the bride. Host a shower you can afford. If you cannot afford to host, be honest about it. No one should ever make you feel guilty for not being able to host. To anyone who has ever made someone feel guilty for not being able to afford to host: Stop.

Okay, now that that’s settled, let’s cover some “trends” I wish would make their way out (along with the Nae Nae song. I’m over it). Hostesses, PLEASE do not have guests address their own envelopes, which the bride will use to send thank you notes. Everyone knows what you’re doing. A guest book is timeless. Seriously, I’m 29, and I’m getting one for our home My husband doesn’t know this, yet, so ssshhh. A guestbook is also a forever keepsake that she can look back on to remember who attended her shower. Once those cards are mailed, there is no getting those babies back. While we’re on the subject of thank yous, this is an area that is not debated among the EE’s (etiquette experts) of the world: regardless of the “If you say thank you for a gift in person, you do not have to send a thank you note” rule, when it comes to weddings, you do. They are considered a formal affair, even if you plan for your guests to sit on hay bales.

To back up just a bit – you should send the invitation around one month before the shower date, which should be held between two weeks and two months from the actual wedding. Unless it is a work shower or the couple is having a destination wedding with immediate family only, you should only invite those to the shower who are also invited to the wedding.

A fun tradition: When the bride-to-be is opening her gifts, attach the bows and ribbon to a paper plate for her to use as the bouquet for the wedding rehearsal. Many of you may already know of this tradition, but if you don’t, I’d love to see it make a comeback. Also, in the South, we are fairly superstitious. Every ribbon the bride-to-be breaks when opening her gifts means she’ll have one child. That can add up quickly. Don’t ask me how I know.

While people can, per etiquette, send wedding gifts up to one year post-wedding, you should send thank you notes as immediately as possible, at least within one month of receiving said gift.

That’s it for now! I’ll continue with the wedding etiquette soon, venturing towards sitting at the rehearsal dinner, the reception and on!

What are your favorite shower traditions?