Correct Correspondence – Reader Q&A

Q. I wanted to see if you would be willing to give a little clarification on how to address people on an envelope. Specifically, with titles and without titles. Also, what about women who don’t change their last name after marriage? I appreciate your help!

A. Thank you for reading! I am more than happy to help. Let’s start with the basics. If John Smith and Jane Smith are married and are of equal ranks, it would Mr. and Mrs. John Smith. If you choose a more informal approach it would be Jane and John Smith. The old adage is, “you never separate a man from his name.” Yes, it’s a little dated, but it’s a decent way to remember which name goes first. If Jane had kept her maiden name of Johnson, it would be Mr. John Smith and Ms. Jane Johnson. She would never be addressed as Mrs. Smith, as she didn’t take that name. She would be Ms. Johnson. Now, let’s say she did take his last name of Smith. Traditionally, she would always be referred to as Mrs. John Smith and not Mrs. Jane Smith. Nowadays, it is completely acceptable to list Mrs. Jane Smith, if that is her preference.

If Jane is a doctor, and her husband is not, on the envelope it would be Dr. Jane Smith and Mr. John Smith. If they are both doctors, it may read Drs. Jane and John Smith.

If children are included on the envelope, they are addressed on a separate line below their parents’ names. For a boy, traditionally under the age of 10, the title of Master is to be used. He drops having a title after 10 until he turns 18, at which time he becomes a Mister and warrants his own invitation, even if he lives with his parents.

Girls traditionally did not have a title until age 10. It’s very common now, though, to refer to a female as Miss from birth on. At 18, she, too, receives her own invitation, even if she resides with her parents. I hope this helps!

 

 

Why I Still Send Father’s Day Cards

If you’ve read this blog for any period of time, you know that I struggle with thank you notes. In most cases, I send them. However, I’ve had to use various “tricks” to make sure I send the notes in a timely manner. For instance, I actually keep stationary and stamps in my car. For me, this is a must.

Knowing this, it may come as a shock that I find it important to send Father’s Day cards (in addition to other holiday cards). Holidays, though, come naturally to me.

I absolutely love all holidays. Before kids when I still had energy, I would celebrate the most mundane of holidays. Pi Day, National Doughnut Day, Best Friends Day. You name it, we did something to commemorate the occasion. I’ve always joked that it was fitting for my daughter to be born on St. Patrick’s Day, since I love holidays the way that I do.

While I don’t think it’s necessary to spend a certain amount on a cards (a $0.99 card is perfect!), I do think there something incredibly special about sending/receiving letters or cards in the mail. You don’t even have to send a traditional Hallmark card! My kids really enjoy making crafts and pictures to send to their grandparents and friends.

Taking the time to pull away from our cell phones and truly put in a little effort for someone else is rewarding for all parties involved. While it’s great that social media is able to connect people the way it does, the mystery of receiving a letter in the mail cannot be replicated.

I hope you’ll join me this Father’s Day in sending your father/uncle/grandfather/father figure a card via snail mail and let them enjoy that mystery, too!

Happy Father’s Day!

 

Available For Sale – Christmas

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Christmas Mailing Set – $24.00

Contains – 24 cards, 24 envelopes, rubber stamps and stamp pads.

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Christmas Gift Tags – $15.00

Contains – 36 Glitter Gift Tags

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Individual Santa Card – $3.50 each ($3.00 for two or more)

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Individual Christmas Tree Card – $3.50 each ($3.00 for two or more)

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Individual “Happy Christmas” Cards – $3.50 each ($3.00 for two or more)

Please email etiquettebyemily@gmail.com to place order! Next day shipping.

Preview For Card Orders

Ladies and Gentlemen…I am so happy to introduce a little preview to the readers for the cards and stationary I will soon have available for sale. Check out the pictures, and let me know your favorites!card halloweencardvalentinescard

I will try to maintain a solid stock through each holiday, as well as some general cards for everyday use. I truly hope these designs will inspire you to bring back the written letter. Additionally, we will start to cover what to include in a Christmas card (and what to not include), as well as how to address the envelope.

Fun fact for the day: When combining a husband’s and wife’s name with no titles, you list the wife’s name first. Ex: Jane and John Smith. The old Southern rule of thumb is “You never separate a man from his name.” If you use titles, in this case, it would be Mr. and Mrs. John Smith.

If you have any questions, feel free to contact me, and I will answer you privately (if you prefer) or will answer via the blog. Thanks for reading!

Getting Back To the Basics

Oh my goodness, I am SO excited to announce that I will be selling Cavallini & Co. cards soon! They are beautiful, vintage cards that will help us all get back to the basics of sending snail mail.vintage cards

Although most EE’s (etiquette experts) now agree that e-mail and e-vites are comparable to their slower counterparts, there is something about receiving a hand-written note that cannot be duplicate
d. The thought and time behind the act cannot be reproduced. Therefore, when this offer presented itself, I decided it was too good to pass up.

BUT! I need your help. Would you prefer more basic, blank cards? Do you like the holiday variety? I’d love to know your preference.

Now, a few fun facts about snail mail. The most formal way to send a letter is stamped and hand-delivered. The theory behind it is it shows the recipient you are willing to pay for the letter to be delivered, but it’s important enough to you to deliver in person. In my opinion, anything delivered electronically should be saved for informal get-togethers and close friends, NOT weddings or other formal events. However, save-the-dates are, overall, considered to be appropriate to be delivered electronically.

As a practice, I tend to send post cards and letters via snail mail for most holidays. Holidays are very important to me, and this is just one way to make them even more special. So, which is your preference for receiving mail – electronically or snail?

Excuse me while I go check the mail…