Reader Q&A

Reader Question: I was recently invited to dinner by my boss to celebrate my upcoming graduation from college. I have had to work while going to school, and I have a young son, so money is tight. I was happy to accept the dinner invitation. My husband planned to stay home with our son to help limit the money spent. However, my boss recently decided to change restaurant locations, and we truly cannot afford the new restaurant. I know that, per etiquette, I shouldn’t decline once I have accepted an invitation. I can’t put my family in financial harm, though. Is there an exception to the rule since the game was changed? Thank you!

Answer: Absolutely. First and foremost, congratulations on your upcoming graduation! You can tell by your letter that you have your priorities straight, and I truly admire that. The rule of not changing your response when accepted is for times when it’s simply that something more appealing comes up. In truth, your boss should treat you to dinner since the dinner is to celebrate you. You are the guest of honor. It it completely acceptable to let him/her know that the new restaurant choice isn’t in the family budget but that you appreciate his support of your graduation. He/she may affirm their intent to pay for your meal. If not, they may at least change back to the original location. I appreciate your question, as it helps highlight the importance of everyone (your boss, in this case) knowing how etiquette plays a role

As an aside, I think it is very important to highlight the importance understanding etiquette plays in not putting someone in an awkward situation. I encourage wording such as, “I would love to treat you to dinner to celebrate…” in order to let the other person know your intent, as, unfortunately, not everyone knows that when they invite someone to dinner, they should also pay.

Why We Prime

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Happy Monday, all! It’s a wee bit early (6am, which is early for me), but I wanted to make sure I got this post scheduled for you! I’ve had a few emails asking about whether or not it’s worth it to have Amazon Prime. Garrett and I chose to have this service a few years ago, and it has been more than worth it for us! It does cost $99 per year, but you receive free two-day shipping on all Prime products.

This may not fit into your family’s budget right now, and that’s completely ok! If this seems like something you’re interested here, here’s a link for a free trial for Amazon Prime. In addition to the free shipping, we also love their movie and television options that you receive to the point that, between having Prime and Netflix, we’ve decided that we’re cancelling Dish Network. *jaw drop* If you know us in life, you know we likely watch waaay too much tv. I LOVE Food Network, and I have most of Giada’s and Ree Drummond’s shows recorded. My goal for our family right now, though, is to become more purposeful. For us, this includes reducing tv watching. By having two lower cost options (Prime and Netflix), we’ll still have plenty of tv-watching opportunities for family night, friends, etc. But by reducing our options, I hope to find we’re more purposeful with our time and spend more time together as a family.

Thank you for reading! I have more posts scheduled that I wrote this weekend when I was more awake that are a bit longer. ūüôā

For the Bride

I know the picture doesn’t go along with the title, as the book is a guide for bridesmaids, but in all honesty, they actually go quite hand-in-hand. I received this book from my mother-in-law as encouragement¬†bridesmaid1for this blog. Overall, I really enjoyed the book. There were a couple of modern twists mentioned, though, I wish would fall by the wayside, particularly regarding money.

For a bridesmaid, there will be a lot of costs involved with being in a wedding. If you’re unable to incur these expenses, you should politely decline far enough away from the wedding the bride is able to find a replacement. The costs range from a wedding gift (no, not required, but it is more than polite to get one for the bride and groom) to travel expenses, which can add up quickly if you don’t live in the same town as the bride. However, anything required by the bride beyond travel is on the bride, regardless of she’s actually the one writing the check. In short, the dress, required shoes, any required hair-do is all footed by the bride. This is where I get a little old-timey.

I just believe people should have a wedding they can afford and not expect others¬†to pay for their wedding for them. Traditionally, this is what occurred. However, in keeping with the trend of placing more emphasis on the wedding than the marriage, expectations have grown to unattainable heights. At least they’re unattainable if you’re the one footing the bill. So, in order to achieve more with no more cost, the trend leaned towards having your guests pay to be part of the wedding.

Don’t want to pay for the bridal party’s attire? That’s no problem, actually. Simply don’t require a specific outfit for them to wear in the wedding. Another way to cute costs: pay for a dress, but let them wear shoes they already have. Don’t have them style their hair a specific way. There are plenty of ways to cut costs, if that’s the concern. Remember, though: anything you require should be paid for by you. This extends to the groomsmen’s tuxedos or suits, the flower girl’s dress, the ring bearer’s suit, etc. There is 100%, absolutely NOTHING shameful in having a wedding you can afford. In fact, I think you’ll find people think more of you for doing it.