“Us” In A “Me” World

I feel the need to preface that “me” time is a great thing. While I am naturally more extroverted, my husband is not. It took several years for me to understand that the time alone he craved was nothing against me. It wasn’t that he didn’t enjoy time with me or that he didn’t like being around me. In fact, it had nothing to do with me at all! That revelation was wonderful for our marriage for my own precious “me” time.

How to Balance You and Me

“Me” time is fantastic. What is not fantastic, however, is valuing ourselves completely over everyone else. Like everything, the pendulum tends to swing too far at times. We’re gone from┬ábeing martyrs to being selfish, and it’s glamorized in the media and magazines. So how can we balance having “me” time to rejunvenate us while remaining mindful that the world doesn’t revolved around us? My favorite tips are listed below!

  1. Keep Committments – Respect someone else’s time, as well as your own, to be dependable enough to keep the committments you’ve made. Etiquette, at its core, is about respect for others. Changing your mind because something better came up or because you’re suddenly longing for a Netflix night isn’t respecting others or respecting yourself. While emergencies are a clear reason why plans may change, changing on a whim isn’t acceptable.
  2. Schedule Alone Time – By purposefully scheduling time that is dedicated to you, you won’t feel deprived when your attention is directed elsewhere. It truly is important that we allow our own cup to be filled – just not at the expense of others.
  3. Know Your Limitations – When you are starting to feel worn down, don’t set yourself and others up for disappointment. Go ahead and say “no.” I’m not sure where the idea of declining an offer was thought to be against etiquette, but let me assure you – it’s not. It’s perfectly acceptable to turn an offer down. There are times you’ll need to. Check out my post on how to gracefully say no here.

As always, thank you for reading! I hope to hear some of your own suggestions in the comment section!

Learning To Say “No” Gracefully

No one enjoys being rejected. For me, I hate letting anyone down. I have a tendency to say “yes” to everything. I do truly enjoy volunteering and being involved, but I have always felt the pressure to say “yes.” In fact, someone onced asked my husband if there was anything I didn’t do, to which he replied, “Say no.”

Knowing how to say no gracefully can be tricky, but I think it’s a vital skill to hone. It is a skill you’ll use for the remainder of your days. Something has recently come to my mind that has helped me in learning how and when to say no.

“When we say ‘yes’ to something, we are saying ‘no’ to something else.” – Emily Glass

We are all given a finite amount of time on earth. I’ve often mentioned being good stewards of our money and things. However, being good stewards of our time is even more important. So, when we say “yes” to something, we are saying “no” to something else. What that “something else” is will vary by person.

It may be that we are saying no to more family time. It may be that we’re saying no to more peace. Whatever it is, by realizing that, we are better able to prioritize our time. The desire to say no to the lesser important things grows within us.

So, how can we gracefully say no?

  1. Remember that you never owe anyone an explanation. Simply say that you’re unable to.
  2. If you feel like you need to expand, keep your explanation honest. No one deserves to be lied to.
  3. Thank the person for thinking of you. You must have the trait(s) they’re looking for. It was considerate of them to ask.
  4. Offer an alternative. It might be another person or you may be able to commit to a lesser amount of time.

You are ultimately responsible for your time and will encounter many occasions where you’ll need to know how to say no. I hope today’s post encouraged you! If you have suggestions on other ways to say no gracefully, I’d love to hear it! Thank you for reading!