Why I Blog on More Than Etiquette

I’ve head some recent emails actually thanking me for blogging on topics other than etiquette. They said they had liked my blog but were hesitant to visit at first because they were afraid it wouldn’t apply to their life.

I get it. I truly do. I was hesitant to even start a blog, but I’m so thankful I did. I had “started” blogs on and off for years. I never had much follow through. Just ideas. I didn’t know how to make etiquette applicable to a large group of people. I still don’t feel like I’m there, but I try each day to remember that etiquette IS about more than forks and knives. It’s about kindness. It’s about respect for others. It’s also about respect for oneself, which is why I’m working on a mini series on dressing well. 🙂 We are allowed to respect ourselves.

Because, to me, tradition and etiquette go together, I love writing about traditions in my blog. Etiquette is so regional that traditions play a big part in why etiquette in one area may not be the etiquette for another.

I am very grateful to you, the readers, for being so willing to read on more than just etiquette. There are plenty of etiquette blogs out there that tell you what to do. Many, though, fail on the why. So if you weren’t raised with etiquette or with a certain protocol, you may feel overwhelmed or uncertain – neither of which feeling makes you feel comfortable actually using the etiquette the sites describe. This is the area I try to differ on. I want people to know why white after Labor Day is considered a fashion faux pas. I want people to understand how they portray themselves to others will make or break them in the business world. This is important to me. Thank you for letting me be different from the rest.

Baby Showers

I’m going to explain the WHY behind having only one. Unlike other etiquette lovers, I will give alternatives.

This post will also be followed up with a wedding shower etiquette post. If you can’t tell, I’m hesitant about writing this, as I truly do not want to offend anyone. However, I’ve had a lot of messages asking me to write about this, so since you asked, I will deliver.

Many people simply have never heard you do not have more than one baby shower, per etiquette. Why? Mainly it’s because they mistakenly think the shower is for the baby, so each baby should be equally celebrated. However, the shower is for becoming a parent. But don’t lose hope! There are other opportunities to celebrate a child’s birth, an occasion most deserving of celebrating.

The shower itself, for starters, should always be given by friends, not family. The reason behind this is the same reason as why you only have one: it looks as though you’re simply asking for gifts. Also, the shower should never cost the guests to attend, so consider this when planning one at a restaurant. The hostess(es) should cover the tab. PLEASE keep in mind that regardless of number of babies, if you want to do so, it is ALWAYS appropriate to get a gift for the baby. To help us move away from this trend, I would LOVE to encourage
you to do so. This is definitely an appropriate way to celebrate the baby.

Speaking of gifts, many etiquette experts say to not register, as it’s also asking for gifts. As I’m just a lover of etiquette, not an expert, I disagree on this one. I think it can make selecting a gift easier. Of course, this does NOT mean you have to follow the registry when purchasing a gift, and people should not be offended when someone purchases a gift not from their registry list. Some people love picking out a gift withoutbaby shower the help of a list, and that is just fine. It’s truly the thought behind the gift that matters.

If you want an alternative to a shower, consider a “sprinkle.” This is also debated in etiquette, and I elected to not have one, as this is too similar to a shower for my comfort. Essentially, this would be a get-together for only family and very, very close friends. Think, 10 people. There is usually a theme, such as diapers and wipes. Or some other usable good that you likely do not have left from your first child.

If that doesn’t suit you, a “Sip and See” is also an acceptable alternative for a second child. This would take place after the child’s birth. Generally, tea, coffee and suitable food is served. Everyone has the opportunity to see the new baby and celebrate him or her being born. Most people bring a gift for the baby.

Additionally, groups of friends can also get together and bring several meals for the freezer or go in together for a larger item, no party needed.

Another reason I have decided to write this is I have witnessed and heard murmurings about people having second showers. No, etiquette cannot make someone not have a shower; however it can enlighten you on why people may elect to not attend a second shower, should you have one.

Regardless of it’s a shower or a gift dropped off at the house, any gift should be accepted graciously and considered just that: a gift. Also, anything you receive is worthy of a thank you note!

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